Self-portraiture is a sensitive pursuit. Sometimes, it is brought about by the need for either a model, or a photographer, and one settles for becoming both. It can be very ruthless, as the camera shows aspects that leave you agonized by perceived physical flaws. Yet it can be precious, when you find a shot that you feel glad to have captured.
When I was first shooting film, I experimented with setups using mirrors, or the tripod. So when a costume piece arrived in the mail today, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait to see another of my photographer friends before I got some photos made; and dusting off the tripod, I set out to create an image I liked.
As with 99.9% of my work, the shots didn’t turn out at all like I hoped – and in the end, none really showcased the corset as I had intended. I kept only one tripod shot, after heavily cropping it in Picasa, then applying a filter and border in Pixlr-o-matic. And the hand-held shots were very random, leaving me disappointed and frustrated by my inability to create my vision.
But slowly, with judicious cropping, I saw how the images could be salvaged and made more abstract, and I feel they were enhanced by the camera’s Grainy black and white mode, and the lack of focal clarity. It’s not to everyone’s taste, but it is to my own. In the end, I think self-portraiture must be that above all else.
Sharing these photos is an an act of courage and absurdity. I hope that you, reader, will not be too ruthless.